Who the hell on earth are doting over sugarcoated lies? They will shape you, yet devour you. They will make you, yet break you. They will catch you, yet let you fall…
What will you choose? To let it all known even if you’re bound to get afflicted or unceasingly shut your eyes to the truth that penetrates your being?
Here’s a story that left me a lesson…
I’m so into this guy. His name is Calyx. He is my best friend’s neighbor. He’s taking up Law at UP Diliman. I haven’t met him personally but we’ve been texting for a year now. He is sweet, benignant and romantic.
Love indeed can bloom overnight. I fall for him… The fall was subtle that I didn’t realize it until I woke up one day loving him from afar. We have a virtual relationship. Ironic, isn’t it?
One time, he asked me to go straight to our boarding house after school hours and I found myself astonishly staring at the bouquet of tulips at our doormat. Not only that, next to it, lays the complete episodes of my fancied love story, Katie’s Diary! He always does things that simply swept me off my feet.
It’s almost perfect, but it’s not as it may seems. Calyx doesn’t have the nerve to face me. He reasoned out the I-am-too-good-for-him thing and the stuff that he is not-yet-so-over-of his-abashment-on-me… This issue has been the culprit of our whimsical relationship.
Cleo, my best friend served as my heroine. I’ve got to grasp the opportunity of having a physical contact with Calyx through riding on his car whenever he’s at home particularly when he fetched Tata, his sister who happened to be Cleo’s pal. But those efforts were put into waste. He doesn’t talk to me. He can’t even smile or lay his eyes on me. It’s as if I am not there! The way he treated me shattered the remnant of diminutive hope in my heart that someday we will be a “normal couple”, just like the way the other couple are.
I broke up with him, but he pleaded and cried as we talked over the phone. He said, he just can’t do it… The old rotten alibi of his, lingered on my ears. I‘ve been buying his inept reasons for crying out loud!!! But my absurdity was totally dominating over me. The next thing I did? I FORGAVE HIM…
Cleo comforted me. She stressed that I should think about it first before I make any decision. It rendered me bewilderment but I chose to get over with it.
One day, a seminar was held at our college. I was seated beside my classmate John and Cleo. I was feeling kinda bored so I offered to massage John’s hand and he’ll do the same thing on me, too. Later that day, Calyx disclosed the idea that I was flirting with somebody else. He sent a MMS depicting John’s hand over mine. I made it clear to him that it is not what he is thinking. It is definitely not a flirtatious act for Pete’s sake! Who have taken that picture? Am I being betrayed? I even suspected my own best friend for committing that act. I have no choice. She’s the one who has a clear connection to Calyx. I think it over but I disposed the idea knowing we’ve been best of pals for 4 years. These questions muddled up my mind until the wee hours of the night. I cried and cried until I shed the last tear that rolled down my face.
My mighty best friend assured me that everything will fall on their right places, just the way I want it to be. According to her, I just have to get rid of doing things that may cause our relationship to an end. She must be really in favor of Calyx. I just thought…
Calyx accepted my apology. We’ve been through a lot of jealousy-thingy, cool-off’s and reconciliations. Yes, another year had passed. I thought I will never get tired of this set-up, but I did… I just don’t know how to tell him that I do love him but I can’t go on. We can’t go on like this…
Until one situation occurred…
I was hanging out at Cleo’s house. We had a sleepover. When she’s taking a bath, I was left in her room. Then unnoticedly, my feet lead me to her cellphone. I did not know she got two. My curiosity subjugated my whole being. It’s as if there is a powerful force pushing myself to browse over my best friend’s phone. I looked over the inbox and it showed “no messages”. I surfed though her sent items and as I read its content, BOOM!!! It was like a bomb that explodes before my very eyes. I can no longer take it any more. I can’t even shed a tear. My lachrymal glands seemingly dried by the enraged feeling that was taking over me. I want to yell at the top of my lungs, but I just couldn’t…
How can SHE do this to me? How can HE do this to me? What made THEM do this to me???
It is the reason why Calyx can’t talk or even face me normally…
It is the sole gist why all of this is happening…
CALYX happened to be CLEO, my best friend… CLEO happened to be CALYX my boyfriend…
All of these are nothing, but lies, sugarcoated lies…
